Billy asked Jud where he put the hawk, jud put it in the bin and Billy just started to cry, I had ago at Jud, Jud knew that hawk meant the world to Billy. All I have been ever wanting to after are billy was born was t’ settle down with a nice man, have someone to come home to you and to make tea for them, but after cheating on Billy’s dad everyone knew I just wanted to have a bit, so no-one was really left, everyone just wanted a quick fling and not to settle down and get married.
Looks round and thinks about what to say. Bringing up two lads wasn’t easy, especially two that didn’t get on and were fighting all the time, I was always working just get through life with my boys. Jud sees himself the man of the house ‘cos there is no-one bigger than Jud in this house, when Jud grew up, I asked him to look after Billy when I went to work but he didn’t care he just went out and left Billy on his own. I didn’t want to come too work today ‘cos the house was a mess and I needed to sort the ‘ouse out but I had to do some more time to get some money.
Working behind the range in the fish and chip shop asking what people want, it does my headin’. Every man I meet they don’t want the same what I do, they juts wanted what every other man does. Some of the men were pledging me happiness but none remained. She gets a cigarette out and smokes it. Well my Billy he’s always getting in trouble, he doesn’t care about school, he always getting this cane however the English teacher at Billy’s school always tries to encourage Billy to get on with his work.
He’s a hopeless case though, having a mother like me isn’t really helping him. Jud isn’t really helping me, he just bullies Billy and doesn’t help me out what so ever, Billy always calls him a bastard. There’s this one man who’s really nice, middle height handsome fella, good job and no kids, completely different to me. He come round one night and wasn’t a nice night for him Jud was just there staring at him but are Billy was friends with him, they were chatting for a good ol’ time, this is only the second time I’ve seen Billy speak to someone and not be shy about it.
I wanted to marry I have known him for at least 4-5 months now, and I just said to him so Reg how about we tie the knot, I sat there all red and my heart was beating twice as fast. ” fancy going to the club tonight lovely?” he just completely changed the conversation, I knew he didn’t want too marry me, all he wanted was too have a bit of sex. Goes to the sink and looks outside the window and stares at the sky.
I’m wondering where are Billy is at the moment. I know for a fact he wont be at school, he never goes in, when he does, he doesn’t do anything, in his report it said he always gets in to trouble bit same like are Jud except he was a bully. Are Billy can hardly read, always takes his time to read a page in a book, he hasn’t even picked out what to do in the future. ”Bell rings” Bleeming hell it’s the end of work, so I’ll see you later Jude.